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bush in georgia

President Bush was never in danger during his visit to the new country of Georgia. Earlier reports said a grenade was thrown within one hundred feet of Bush, this is incorrect. Investigations have uncovered that the hand grenade was thought to be a construction grenade and posed no threat to Bush. After more extensive investigation by the FBI, CIA, SECRET SERVICE, NAS, CID, NIS, CSI IN MIAMI AND NEW YORK, LOCAL POLICE, we may have some facts by the six o'clock news.


The hand grenade-construction grenade turned out to be a rotten Easter Egg left over from the traditional hunt that took place on the grounds last month. President Bush said when told of the conclusion of the investigation by both countries said, "I did smell something weird and thought that it was the new leader of Georgia." Immediately at a press conference in DC Scott McColorful explained President Bush was just joking and did not mean to suggest that the new leader of Georgia needed to wash more often.

Congress will hold hearings in both houses to look into this attempt to misquote the President by the left leaning news media. The FBI, CIA, SECRET SERVICE, NAS, CID, NIS, CSI---IN MIAMI, NEW YORK, AND NOW LAS VEGAS, ARE NOW LOOKING FOR THAT ONE REMAINING LIBERAL NEWS OUTLET. We must go to our commercial about how to be a good citizen, brought to you by our national, patriotic, unborn child loving Homeland Security Leader.

homepage: homepage: http://journals.aol.com/tendjoe/THETRIALOFGWBUSH/

hmmmm....this smells like some good old 11.May.2005 18:12

I am bored

Tex-ass PR work...something like Karen Hughes & Karl Rove would dream up...ha! ha!

It Might Have Been... 11.May.2005 20:45

...a stinkbomb

Yesterday morning, Guram Donadze, the head of the Georgian Interior Ministry's press service, categorically denied information about a grenade thrown at the U.S. president, calling it a total lie. And at noon, Gela Bezhuashvili, the secretary of the National Security Council, held a special press conference.

From his statements, as well as from information obtained from sources in the Georgian government, events unfolded as follows. Hundreds of masked Georgian special services personnel were in the thick of the crowd during Bush's speech in the square. One of them noticed a suspicious-looking bundle at his feet. After unobtrusively picking it up and carrying it out of the crowd, he examined his find carefully. The bundle turned out to be a newspaper with an RGD-5 hand grenade rolled up in it. The officer promptly reported his discovery to his immediate superior. All the sources especially emphasized that no one had thrown the grenade - it was simply lying on the ground.


wow now wait a second..... 12.May.2005 01:30

Ecotopian Yeti

wow now wait a second. Old rotten eggs can be very dangerous and this in not the first time that an egg has posed as a threat to the ... (I can not write "prez" "en" "dent" without puking) ... ok Mr Bush. I remember that rainy fatefull day as the newly eee..lect (cough cough ... gage ... fake sneeze uttering the word "asswipe") ....sss..elected (damn! there is that word again...) "prez" "en" "dent" ... ok let me rewrite this ... during the inaugural march to the white house after the first fake election there was a lucky person who got to throw an egg at the car of the dude that looks like a chimpanzee with the stomach flu. Also I believe the preztel he choked on may have had egg in it (not sure about that one). So maybe his Dominion highpriest/soothsayer should recommend he avoid eggs and continue milking stallions.

Wait another second... 12.May.2005 01:53

Ecotopian Yeti

Wait another second. Didn't our primate like glorious leader have a false death threat in Columbia that later proved to be a lie?

Let me try to reconstruct a possible real senario: Bush's security demands full sweeps on all areas that Mr Bush will visit plus total background checks on those he could potentially meet. Added to this full body checks of all Georgian political and public figures with an option for body cavity checks in the secret servive (SS) is in the mood. To compound that the secret service demands all Georgian security to be disarmed anytime Bush is present and even a two hours before. Secret security agent Smith "We do not want what happen in Chile again where there was a secret attempt to seperate the monkey boy from his security." The Georgian officials (who are themselves afraid of a Russian backed coup) respond "What? Are you out of your fucking minds! This is our country and you want us to have rectum examinations cause of a poop flinging Incurious George there?" Agent Smith, "Yep". Georgian officials, "well just forget it... go masterbate a male horse!" .... two hours later ... Agent Smith, "Look, look a ... granade ...." 10 minutes later agent Smith slappin on the rubber gloves "bend over and spread them."

he's invincible just like... 12.May.2005 05:51

U. Sam

the fuhrer. There were several alleged attempts at killing the guy. Each time either a bomb didn't go off, the perps were captured or thwarted, the "media" would report to the germans how their fuhrer was like a demigod, indestructable to the forces of evil that would try to subvert german superiority.

Plane at the capitol building?

The one attempt at bush's life that americans should be concerned with, is the one that there were several warnings for, these warnings included "planes packed with explosives", commanded by osama bin laden, that would fly into the building at the G8 summit in Genoa. It was so credible an unprecedented amount of money was spent to protect the facility. Including, anti-aircraft missiles mounted on the top of these buildings.

I almost forgot, this was 2 months before 9/11.

Due to a "lack of imagination", we were unable to mount these types of guns ontop of the wtc, intercept with planes, or warn americans of this threat that we received 52 warnings for. History is written by the winners.

slam dunk tenet gets a medal of freedom for his incompetence
slam dunk tenet gets a medal of freedom for his incompetence

above comment 12.May.2005 22:01


right on