The Deseret Intelligencer - Salt Lake City's Finest Artisanal Newspaper
By Jess E. Huber
We were driven out of Missouri and Illinois, where our Prophet Joseph Smith was murdered by an angry mob. Our people have been persecuted, so we deserve to have our own Homeland.
When our Prophet Brigham Young saw this land, he said that God gave it to us, and he called it Zion. We made the desert bloom. Today our vast monoculture farms cover the valleys as far as the eye can see. On Google maps, our Zion looks like a patchwork quilt of agribusiness and urban sprawl.
We found the Paiutes living in huts and eating pine nuts. Some of their descendants still live here in a few isolated trailer parks, but as non-Mormons they have no future here in Zion. There are Reservations for Native Americans in other States that should take them in.
On September 11, 1857, a company of Mormon Militia disguised as Paiutes massacred the Baker-Fancher wagon train at Mountain Meadows in southern Utah. The Mormons blamed the Mountain Meadows Massacre on the Paiutes.
"The Utah Data Center, code-named Bumblehive, is the first Intelligence Community Comprehensive National Cyber-security Initiative (IC CNCI) data center designed to support the Intelligence Community's efforts to monitor, strengthen and protect the nation. Our Utah "mission data repository" is designed to cope with the vast increases in digital data that have accompanied the rise of the global network. NSA is the executive agent for the Office of the Director of National Intelligence (ODNI) and is the lead agency at the center."
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